A Little Blue-Haired Lady

Well you might have read it in the paper It happened just last week About the man up on the building Shootin' people in the street Well they captured him and took him in For psychiatric observation Then they held a press conference And gave this explanation They said, "Don't blame his alcoholic father Or his co-dependent mother It wasn't his sociopathic sister Or his transvestite brother Naw, he just been on the freeway for hours When he finally lost his mind There were orange barrels everywhere And he was stuck behind () A little blue-haired lady In a big black Oldsmobile Yeah, you could barely see her peekin' out Beneath that steerin' wheel! She couldn't turn that thing around In a forty-acre field! A little blue-haired lady In a big black Oldsmobile A little blue-haired lady In a rockin' '98 Doin' twenty miles an hour, flat out On the interstate She wouldn't speed up, she wouldn't turn To the left or right or yield A little blue-haired lady In a big black Oldsmobile Do you remember Pearl Harbor December seventh, '41? How the Japanese bombed our fleet In a sneak attack at dawn? When Roosevelt asked the Japanese ambassador, "Why didn't you give us warnin'?" He said, "We send a message but our driver was stuck in traffic all mornin'! Heh heh!" () Behind a little blue-haired lady In a big black Oldsmobile You could barely see her tiny fingers On top of the steerin' wheel She wouldn't speed up, she wouldn't turn To the left or right or yield A little blue-haired lady In a big black Oldsmobile Ooh, little blue-haired ladies In big black Oldsmobiles If you've ever been behind one friends You know just how it feels To see that little blue head a-peekin' out Beneath that steerin' wheel Lord, deliver me from blue-haired ladies And big black Oldsmobiles! Yes, it was a little blue-haired lady In a big black Oldsmobile! (Spoken) Lady, if you don't speed up, You're gonna get a parkin' ticket!