He was skinny as a rake-like two-by-four
Ugly as sin born premature
Mother had trouble trying to take
To a kid that looked like a garden rake
Ah, sons are sons, and Dad wasn't proud
Didn't make him feel like one of the crowd
Wood cuttin' boys from up in the sticks
Laughed at the sight of Earle
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, wimp"
He was treated like scum and he felt like dirt
Couldn't lift a chainsaw, couldn't make it work
Father often said that he didn't have a clue
But Mother didn't feed him and he hardly grew
"Hungry, I'm hungry"
So Earle disappeared for 15 years
Father didn't miss him and his mother didn't care
After a while, they forgot about Earle
And his girlfriend said, "Who cares?"
Stunned, stunned, stunned, stunned Earle
Stunned, stunned, stunned, stunned Earle
Stunned, stunned, stunned, stunned Earle
In this little town, life went on the same
'Til one hot July, and no rain came
Great big fire set the country ablaze
And everyone cuttin' fire breaks
Ah, they sawed, and they sawed, but they couldn't outrun
The smoky fumes and the fiery tongues
They were losing fast, it was lookin' bad
Who would save their town?
"Save me! Save me!"
And nobody knew, neither foe nor friend
That Earle had grown to seven-foot-ten
Arm like culverts, legs like trees
Fists like hammers, and hairy knees
"Shave me! Shave me!"
Far off in the woods, above the din and the roar
Came a sound nobody had heard before
Trees were falling like a tidal wave
To a monster Jonsered chainsaw
Chain, chain, chainsaw Earle
Chain, chain, chainsaw Earle
Chain, chain, chainsaw Earle
His cutter bar was ten-foot-two
Turned the air all purple and blue
Tasmanian devil, in 20 minutes flat
Made the landscape look just like Iraq
With the trees all limbed and the fire break made
The townsfolk saved from a charcoal grave
People gathered, shouted and cheered, "Hooray!"
For this forest disposal unit
Lightin' up a smoke, he laid the chainsaw down
Said, "I'm the guy who saved your town"
Then Earle knocked over a drum of gas
Just as he threw away his match
Ah, the gas exploded, and the town burned flat
And Earle ran off just like a scalded cat
"It's been 15 years," his father said
"And he's still as stunned as me arse"
Stunned, stunned, stunned as me arse
Stunned, stunned, stunned as me arse
Stunned, stunned, stunned as me arse was Earle
