The Cask

Never bet the devil your head When I was an infant My mother treated me like a tough steak To her well regulated mind Babies were the better for beatings But she was left handed And a child flogged left handed Is better left unflogged The world revolves from right to left It will not do to whip a baby from left to right If each blow in the right direction drives an evil propensity out A blow in the opposite direction Knocks it's quota of wickedness in Hence my precocity in vice My sensitivity to injuries The thousands of injuries heaped upon me by Fortunato And then finally his rabid insults for which I vowed revenge I gave no utterance to threat But the knowledge of "avengemenship" Was so definite so precise That no risk could befall me By neither word Nor deed had I given cause to doubt my good will I would punish with impunity I will fuck him up the ass and piss in his face I will redress the wrong But lips and psyche Mind be silent Fortunato approaches Don't take me to task For loving a cask The cask of Amontillado Please don't make a pass You can go kiss my ass All I want is this mythical cask The cask of Amontillado I've heard so much through the grapevine I've heard so much on the line But the one thing that I lust after Is the one thing I've never had So is it too much to ask Too have just one taste of the cask Why you could go kiss my ass for the cask Of Amontillado Edgar old fellow Dear bosom friend Hail fellow well met Oh great elucidator Great epopee Haha. Fortunato what luck to meet you What good good luck to meet You and see you looking so splendid I have received a cask of Amontillado Or what passes For Amontillado Amontillado That most wondrous sherry A cask Impossible How So rare I've had my doubts I was silly enough to pay the full price Without consulting you in the matter But you were not to be found And I was fearful of losing a bargain Fearfully stupid if you ask me Edgar I am on my way to see Mr. Bolo A cask A cask To gather his opinion Are you engaged Mr. Bolo cannot tell Amontillado from goat's milk Yet some say his taste is a match for your own Hardly, dear boy Let us go Where To your vaults to the supposed Amontillado Oh my good friend no I could not impose upon your good nature You have, after all, an engagement To hell with the engagement I have no engagement Before the sky withers and falls let us go But the vaults are damp And I see you are afflicted with a severe cold Oh let us go The cold is nothing You've been taken advantage of And Mr. Bolo cannot tell Amontillado from piss The cask It is farther on But see the white web work Which gleams from these cavern walls Nitre Nitre How long have you had that cough Yes, nitre It is nothing We should go back Your health is precious You are a man who would be missed Let's return I cannot be responsible for causing you ill health And anyway there's always Mr. Bolo Oh be dumb I'll not be swayed The cough is nothing It will not kill me I won't die of a cough Of that you can be sure Have some of this Medoc to warm the bones And defend you from this infernal dampness Drink Drink damn you I drink to the buried that repose around us And I to your long life The nitre It hangs like moss We are below the river's bed The moisture trickles, chills the bones Let's go back Your cough The cough is nothing But ... Let us proceed to the Amontillado So proceed Herein the Amontillado Now Mr. Bolo Mr. Bolo is an imbecile An ignoramus Can you not feel the nitre You really should go I implore you No Then I must leave you here But first Let me render you all the little attentions within my power The Amontillado Hahahaha. A very good joke indeed, haha. We will have many a rich laugh about it over our wine in the palazzo The Amontillado Yes, yes yes The Amontillado Well Then let's go For, for the love of God Precisely for the love of God Fortunato Fortunato