Why Does This Always Happen to Me?

I was watching my TV one night When they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death Even more were buried alive On the Richter scale it measured 8.2 And I said "God, please answer me one question" "Why'd they have to interrupt The Simpsons just for this?" What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything And now I'll have to wait for the rerun To see the part of the show I missed Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? (Why) why does this always happen to me? Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba I was driving down the highway When all the traffic slowed to a crawl There was a 12-car pile-up, everybody dead And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head (disembodied head) And I thought "Poor Rob, I just had lunch with him" "Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money, what a jerk" Well, there's five bucks That I'm never gonna see again Plus now, on top of everything else It looks like I'm gonna be late to work Oh, why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? (Why) why does this always happen to me? Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba Oh, the other day, my boss said We were running low on toner And he told me I should buy another case Well, I told him I was busy But he still just kept on asking So, I turned around and stabbed him in the face (right in the face) Oh, and wouldn't you know it? My knife got stuck I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again Quite as sharp again Oh, tell me, why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen to me? (Why does this always happen to me?) Why does this always happen to me? (Why does this always happen to me?) Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba