Eric Cartman vs Charlie Brown

Animation Vs. Anything Eric Cartman Vs Charlie Brown Draw Oh my god Kyle Shut the fuck up and listen I just found the first jew that celebrates Christmas (Shut up, fatass) That's right Kyle Mel Gibson tried to warn me I'll have to fuck his mom tonight I hear she's pretty... horny Charlie Brown, was it? It must be really tough Living with both depression And leukemia so If you really want me to apologize Come on down to South Park And suck these balls of mine Bitch, I'm dropping bombs Just in case you couldn't tell Like ImaginationLand I'll leave Peanuts full of shells 'cus I'm making fat stacks My pocket's on Kyle's mom You fucking Gooback This battle is my job The lone Christmas tradition For poor children like Kenny I've seen comics stand on their own better from Jimmy Well, my job here is one You're totally boned So like your actors at puberty I'm going home Someone tell Linus to see who I'm stuck with He'd be thrilled to finally meet the Great Pumpkin You two are alike Though not that he's racist But you're so insecure that you need blanket statements So if you want attention start by ditching the mask It's like your fans are raccoons, 'cus they keep digging your trash You're crying censorship "None of the networks care about us!" "By the way, stream our new specials on Paramount+" With the hate speech you're dropping Of course your ratings are bombing Now you're just chasing the profit And saving face like Mohammad I mean, you can't take a joke And your politics are backwards Good grief At least Kanye's a good rapper I inspired the show that you copy all the time You even stole The Simpson's sad and gradual decline Now you're middle of the road You lost track of what you fight agaisnt So it makes sense you'd end up living on the side of it Oof Charlie You're breaking my balls here, what a zinger Didn't expect soul from the kid in love with a ginger, brah I know it's hard, you know, dying of cancer But I'm here to tell you Taking your life is not the answer Don't try to hide it, I can tell by your face Everyone in your family thinks you're a fucking disgrace And I bet that your weight's something they bully you for 'cuz you're big boned like me Except way way more But keep your two chins up, Charlie Don't give into fear Who cares if you haven't been relevant in 56 years Who cares if all your friends secretely think you're totally lame Who cares if all the girls who respect you are totally gay Damn it, I know it's so hard But man you gotta hold on 'cuz middle aged moms would miss you so much if you were gone You may have nothing to live for But dude you gotta let it go No, no Charlie, don't do it, don't do it Noooooooo Help is available, Charlie Brown Just go to your local psychiatrist and get it sorted out today Good grief (Hey, hey where the fuck are you going?) (Hey come back here) (Hey uh...) (Hey you, fuck you then) (Go ahead and do it then, I don't give a shit) (Fucking asshole) (Screw you guys, I'm going-) (Oh for fuck's-) Why don't you pick on someone your own size, you object I'd say you're too round to be a blockhead But now that the shrink has arrived you might shrivel Given your rhymes, I'll pick at your mind for no nickel I'm guessing it all went wrong When your mother slept with so many weiners You moved into another Dad left her And he was so happy with his new lover 'till you turned him into chili and then fed him to your brother You repulsive freak Nobody would love you in their right mind Someone tell Heidi to hide and get her some iodine All your friends think you're an antisemitic ogre No wonder Kyle hates you Pork isn't kosher You're worthless Hopelessly, utterly and completely And I don't sugarcoat it 'cus then you'd probably eat me Here's my final two cents This counts for the winner Spell it out, Charlie Brown (Uhh... wait... was I supposed to say something?) Charlie Brown! You were supposed to deliver the punchline Haven't you ever delivered on a basic setup before You wouldn't know a good setup for a joke If it walked up and slugged you I've seen you mess things up before, Charlie Brown But this right here is unforgivable You're hopeless, Charlie Brown Completely, utterly hopeless! (Good grief...)