That’s Bad, Right?

I finally saw a therapist And she started to cry And so I realized It was really bad I'd be allowed to feel sad But it's easier to look away Or is it? Have I just been drowning in my pain? Froze it - somewhere Cause my wounds made me feel ashamed So instead I'd rather run again I run away Keep myself busy Numb my brain Feeling dizzy Drunk again To make it easy But it's not working, is it? I was never able to sleep That's bad right? Didn't have enough to eat That's bad right? Wasn't allowed to speak I tried to run away That's bad right? Got caught and hurt again That's bad right? But now am I okay? I stay in my fight But it's a constant fight She has that Aura Seems so innocent You know I always felt sorry for her - sorry for her She should have protected me It's hard to comprehend You know How could she leave me in the dirt - in the dirt? And I know I should be mad But all I see is a little girl But it's not me - she is her And while I am strong enough to heal myself She's a prisoner of her self-made hell I was never able to sleep That's bad right? Didn't have enough to eat That's bad right? Wasn't allowed to speak I tried to run away That's bad right? Got caught and hurt again That's bad right? But now am I okay? I stay in my fight But it's a constant fight I tried to save you I tried to be enough I tried to make you love your child But I had to be the adult I didn't have a bed No love No peace I got hatred instead Still loved you Begged you please Leave him Safe me Safe us At least safe yourself But you wouldn't listen You wouldn't listen You didn't listen So we both stayed in hell I was never able to sleep That's bad right? Didn't have enough to eat That's bad right? Wasn't allowed to speak I tried to run away That's bad right? Got caught and hurt again (That's bad right?) But now am I okay? Well, I stay in my fight But it's a constant fight And I make it right! I make it right! I make it right! And I'm healing over time