Pardon Me

What is religion, this thing I believe in 2 services every weekend, new communion every season A staple in the way I live I rarely even question Same religion used to excuse my people oppression Religion is the grounding and the balance that I needed Searched for it in people but they never could complete it Thought a man could solve the Issues in my heart that were deep seeded But I've looked and looked around and ain't nobody do what he did Religion set me free, but religion just keep me gostage Is it self made boundaries that keep me in this bondage Called for god long and still he ain't never responded Religion my foundation, foundation I almost lost it Rejected all the love cause I ain't think that I was worth it The overwhelming, never-ending, don't feel I deserve it I be in own my head thinking I didn't earn it How you love me, why you love me, even when I'm not perfect I can love you (I can love you) I can love you (I can love you) I can love you better than she can I can love you (I can love you) I can love you (I can love you) I can love you better than she can Still waiting for those things that the fake Pastors had prophesied A Jay that's in New York but these stories I tell ain't verified Running to my blessings so fast I almost qualified Was still searching for the love within women that I objectified 2 kids, big house, pool, and a spouse Fell in love with an idea that went on a different route Feel like God stopping the rain I been in this crazy drought I'm stuck in my father's image will I ever make it out Introversion only take you so far I really need love Changed myself to please everybody and ain't receive hugs Trauma that I'm supposed to hide we sweep under the rugs My father think I need therapy, I really need touch I learned how to love but I gotta love at a distance I grew up but I think that we grew apart must've missed it Religion ain't the problem within the way I'm existing But the love of god the only remaining thing That's consistent and I'm saying I can love you (I can love you) (I'm receiving your love) I can love you (I can love you) (I'm receiving your love) I can love you better than she can (I'm receiving your love) I can love you (I can love you) (Yeah, I'm receiving your love) I know that, he'll answer when i call Where would I be Lord without presence Grace you that show me, love never-ending I am not alone Yeah, I am not alone, yeah I'm my curiosity search results is what i reflect Lil 5 year old be who was seeing (moan) on the internet Taught by mother, father, and something else I was hiding Change perception of reality,cravings I stopped fighting Real indoctrination from what I seen in those videos (Shh) tried to bring up the subject but I would tippy toe Couldn't see her outside the standards of broken fantasies Intensified by stubbornness o tightrope with insanity 6th track of "ishereal", 1st track of "rodeo" Projecting onto Juliet, a self conscious Romeo Repeated all my sins and subconsciously I would pick up Saying that Im done very next day I would slip up The things that I seen still deeply scar my mentality A product of safari, I question my sexuality Scared to see what people think, reactions that the verse get Tryna overcome a problem admitting it is the first step