AUDIT (feat. Tsurumaki Maki)

I've got a business, I've got a lovely wife Everything I could want, I've got a perfect life It's like you're hardly working when it's something you love A brain of calculation, its heart, an abacus But I think I'd be lying if I didn't say this I've got a way with words, but not a way with emotions I've got a silver bullet, I've got a self-prescription I say, "hand me one more drink," you call it an addiction I open up the bottle, let inhibition go Maybe I shouldn't, though I know I shouldn't, though If it becomes a problem, if it seeps in my bones Nobody has to know Nobody has to know I've got a business, I've got a lovely wife Maybe I lie a little, but I'm doing alright I say that I'll get better, I say I'm trying to quit But if you know me, you would know I'm faking it It's only twice a day, then three, then four, then five It's not like it'll kill me, it makes me feel alive At least I thought that it did, don't let them know I told you this But I don't know how to resist, I hate my own excuses Choking on desolation, sip on the amaretto Won't make me better, though I won't get better, though I can stop when I want to, I still have self control But I'll never say no But I'll never say no I know I fucked it all up, I'm not a perfect man But I swear I'll get better, this isn't who I am It's really not your problem, you shouldn't give a damn You don't know how I'm feeling, so don't try to understand Past 60 on the dashboard, past .08 in my blood I'm feeling kinda funny, all common sense undone Swerving all over the road, got children in the back How are we gonna get home? I'm really sorry, Jack, I- The crashing sound of metal, the bleeding from my nose I'm so stupid, I know Fucking awful, I know The iron taste in my mouth mixes with the merlot They won't breathe anymore They won't breathe anymore I've really done it this time, where's there for me to go? God damn it, I don't know How could I ever know? A shallow grave from my hands, flesh, blood, down below Pick up, pick up the phone Pick up, pick up the phone