Half of My Time

I've spent half of my time Tilting at windmills Baking up pies, making up lies Gaping like regular people do over the freaks at the fair And half of my time Pounding on all those Who wouldn't go forward, now, don't tell me your word's Any better than Absalom's, Taken in war by the tangles of his flowing hair O, Absalom, Absalom, son of my heart, Your foolishness went out and tore you apart Like lions who lounge in the blood of their prey Your pride was roaring, and you were carried away and By now, I just figured I'd have perished in battle, My armor was thin, my feet barely shod My hands, both too bloody, were tried and found wanting, Unworthy to lay even one brick for the house of my God Oh, we all want what we want at all times in all ways Oh, how can we count the unnamable number of All of our days. Oh, we're fighting that clock That's ticking with whatever's left of our prime Oh, imagine that you had to do what you do with just half of the time. I've spent half of my time chasing the white whale While sunsets and dumb bets get what everything young gets– Half the attention they really deserve to receive. That's half of my time sipping elixirs, mingling with fixers, Missing the birth of my children. And still, when I try, In my mind's eye, to see it, it's something that I can't conceive. Your mother once told me that when you were born, She passed out from losing so much of her blood While the midwives were stirring and frantically panicking She saw you there in a field full of mud She ran up to greet you, to finally meet you You were already swaddled in a wild waiting Game A crown on your head, she was halfway to dead By the time you first heard her lips whisper your name Open your eyes, start counting the stars They're just past the bars they put on your window, The ones meant to tell you they need to jail cell you, When they don't know what you're even in for. Vanity, Vanity. All this is vanity. So says the teacher with wives by the score, Who still can recall when his father had fallen And sobbed the dead brother's name to the floor and And every child knows it, the spirit that chose it Has hidden a secret down deep in their heart And no one can figure out how to lure it out Except the soul where... it first washed ashore