Scoop: She's Dead

She's dead! She's dead! She's dead What's that? She's dead Who's dead? She's dead Are you sure? She's dead Oh no She's dead What? Who? Sure? She's dead No! When? How? Where? She's dead What? Who? Sure? She's dead No! When? How? Where? It's the scoop of the century She'll make the front page for a year She will live in people's memory Tear after tear An illicit secret love affair With a filthy rich Arab heir This didn't harm her popularity But it sure embarrassed the Royalty Paparazzi, the heavens are raining down your manna Announcing the death of Princess Diana Oh my goodness! This is breaking news! For newspapers, television, radio Stop all other news! Sensational! Stop all press The whole world goes into a frenzy of sighing and mourning Disbelief, accusations, conspiracy theories abounding Flowers and candles and Elton all bring so much sorrow Nobody wants no other news as though there's no tomorrow For weeks and weeks the mourning goes on unabated For months and months the curiosity is unsatiated But earlier on the fifth day a news was almost discarded Mother Teresa died in Calcutta, disregarded Now why did the old lady have to go At such an inconvenient time Give her one day's front page And from tomorrow it's back to what's prime Mother Teresa dying of old age Might evoke a hosanna But as world news that's no match For the death of the lovely Diana She died as she lived Meekly, discreetly The Mother of the Slums went humbly In the shadow of a Princess Quietly